Most Funniest Jokes

INDEX

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:57:00 +0000

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Religious Jokes Page 3

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:12:00 +0000

Top Ten Ways You Know You'Re In A Bad Church Religious Jokes

Down to Hell Religious Jokes

Original Text Religious Jokes

Man Falls Asleep At Church Religious Jokes

John the Baptist Religious Jokes

Cobbled Road Religious Jokes

An Atheist Religious Jokes

Becoming Christian Religious Jokes

Making a Confession Religious Jokes

What is This Going to Cost Me Religious Jokes

Forest Gump Goes to Heaven Religious Jokes

At The Beginning of World War II Religious Jokes

Don't use the Lord's name in vain Religious Jokes

The Best Programmer Religious Jokes

Walking Up the Stairs in a Church Religious Jokes

Aren't you Moses? Religious Jokes

A Pastor Visiting his Church Members Religious Jokes

The Weekly Collection Religious Jokes

Test Questions On The Bible Religious Jokes

You'd Be Proud of Me Religious Jokes

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Religious Jokes Page 2

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:11:00 +0000

Children's Words Religious Jokes

Sisters of Mercy Religious Jokes

Nun to worry about Religious Jokes

One tough secret Religious Jokes

Income taxes Religious Jokes

Plus Sign Religious Jokes

Display of outstanding courage Religious Jokes

Let's Get Married Religious Jokes

Playing doctor Religious Jokes

Absolution Religious Jokes

Forgive me Father Religious Jokes

A Bolt of Lightning Religious Jokes

Earning Power Religious Jokes

I've Fallen Religious Jokes

Religious Cruise Religious Jokes

Before you meet with God Religious Jokes

Confessional Etiquette Religious Jokes

Mother Teresa Goes to Heaven Religious Jokes

Espiscopalian Religious Jokes

Screening Process Religious Jokes

The Biggest Lie Religious Jokes

Faith Lesson Religious Jokes

Devil In The Church Religious Jokes

Final Vows Religious Jokes

Morning Worship Religious Jokes

An Act of Charity Religious Jokes

Vow of Silence Religious Jokes

Four Catholic Ladies Religious Jokes

Gay Man Meets Saint Peter Religious Jokes

Nun Going to Chicago Religious Jokes

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Religious Jokes Page 1

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:10:00 +0000

A Really Important Person Religious Jokes

Healing Religious Jokes

The Incorrect Diagnosis Religious Jokes

Enter Heaven Religious Jokes

God Will Help Me Religious Jokes

Four Nuns Religious Jokes

The New Priest Religious Jokes

Dam Fish Religious Jokes

Just an E-mail Note Religious Jokes

At the Confessional Religious Jokes

Prostitute Parrots Religious Jokes

The Preachers Donkey Religious Jokes

A Room For the Night Religious Jokes

All in the Family Religious Jokes

A Torah Scholar Religious Jokes

My Greatest Sin Religious Jokes

Picture Of God Religious Jokes

Pastor Fuzz Religious Jokes

Gold in Heaven Religious Jokes

Not Catholic Religious Jokes

S.O.B. Religious Jokes

The Baptism Religious Jokes

Confessions Religious Jokes

Crumbling Down Religious Jokes

Golf in Heaven Religious Jokes

Telling Lies Religious Jokes

Do I Know You? Religious Jokes

Old Man Religious Jokes

Are You Gay? Religious Jokes

Stone the Prostitute Religious Jokes

Page 1 Page 2 Page 3

Drunk and Bar Jokes Page 2

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:09:00 +0000

Beer Troubleshooting Drunk and Bar Jokes

Free nuts Drunk and Bar Jokes

Fairground Food Drunk and Bar Jokes

Free drinks and more Drunk and Bar Jokes

Crunchy bird Drunk and Bar Jokes

Ball squeezer Drunk and Bar Jokes

Looking for my car Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Professional Gambler Drunk and Bar Jokes

Twenty Push-ups Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Lake Made of Beer Drunk and Bar Jokes

New FDA Alcohol Warnings for Booze Bottles Drunk and Bar Jokes

The Morning After Drunk and Bar Jokes

It Opens at Noon Drunk and Bar Jokes

Martooni Drunk and Bar Jokes

Such a Proposition Drunk and Bar Jokes

Drinking Buddies Drunk and Bar Jokes

Tell me the Name Drunk and Bar Jokes

Fall-Down Drunk Drunk and Bar Jokes

Drunk Driver Drunk and Bar Jokes

All The Guys on This Side Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Huge Paul McCartney Fan Drunk and Bar Jokes

Looking Better and Better Drunk and Bar Jokes

Completely Cured Drunk and Bar Jokes

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Drunk and Bar Jokes Page 1

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:07:00 +0000

A Karate Chop from Korea Drunk and Bar Jokes

Man Walks Into a Bar Drunk and Bar Jokes

Armless Man in a Bar Drunk and Bar Jokes

Three Pints of Guinness Drunk and Bar Jokes

Are You From Ireland? Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Rather Confident Man Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Graduate Student in Psychology Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Million Bucks Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Lawyer and a Blonde Drunk and Bar Jokes

Octopus at the Bar Drunk and Bar Jokes

Leprechaun in the Bathroom Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Fly in my Beer Drunk and Bar Jokes

The Surprised Drunk Drunk and Bar Jokes

I Already Paid Drunk and Bar Jokes

Seductive Fingers Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Scotch Expert Drunk and Bar Jokes

Try Being Nicer Drunk and Bar Jokes

The Golden Toilet Seat Drunk and Bar Jokes

Clever Plan Drunk and Bar Jokes

About Two Hours Drunk and Bar Jokes

Need a Push Drunk and Bar Jokes

Been Drinking? Drunk and Bar Jokes

Fuel Injected Drunk and Bar Jokes

A Hamster and a Bullfrog Drunk and Bar Jokes

B or D Drunk and Bar Jokes

Don't mess with a drinker Drunk and Bar Jokes

Bad Day Drunk and Bar Jokes

20 dollars fixes everything Drunk and Bar Jokes

Who’s Next? Drunk and Bar Jokes

Who likes women? Drunk and Bar Jokes

Page 1 Page 2

Blond Jokes Page 2

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:06:00 +0000

51 Days Blonde Jokes

A Blonde at the Repair Shop Blonde Jokes

Iron Phone Blonde Jokes

The Blind and the Blond Blonde Jokes

Dead Or Alive Blonde Jokes

A Ticket to Miami Blonde Jokes

Green Side Up Blonde Jokes

You don't want the usual? Blonde Jokes

The Carburator Blonde Jokes

In Front of a Pop Machine Blonde Jokes

On the Other Side Blonde Jokes

The Worst Book I've Ever Read Blonde Jokes

Are his Lights On? Blonde Jokes

Alligator Shoes Blonde Jokes

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Blonde Jokes page 1

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:04:00 +0000

The Blonde Painter Blonde Jokes

The Blonde at Western Union Blonde Jokes

Mirror, Mirror Blonde Jokes

Three blondes and a wish Blonde Jokes

Alligator's Mouth Blonde Jokes

The Rope Blonde Jokes

Old news Blonde Jokes

Blonde mail call Blonde Jokes

Blonde on first class Blonde Jokes

Stranded blonde Blonde Jokes

A blonde in Las Vegas Blonde Jokes

Stranded on a desert island Blonde Jokes

The breathalyzer! Blonde Jokes

Horsback riding Blonde Jokes

The blonde and the cute sheep Blonde Jokes

The First Man Blonde Jokes

Locked Car Blonde Jokes

Blonde Logic Blonde Jokes

What's that Noise? Blonde Jokes

Brunette, Redhead and a Blonde Blonde Jokes

Car Theft Blonde Jokes

Silence Isn't Always Golden Blonde Jokes

Blank Copy Blonde Jokes

Sore Throat Blonde Jokes

Two Blondes Walking in the Forest Blonde Jokes

One Blonde To Another Blonde Jokes

A 15 Blonde Jokes

Blonde Overdue Blonde Jokes

Feeling' Good Blonde Jokes

Deer Tracks Blonde Jokes

Page 1 Page 2

A Really Important Person

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:43:00 +0000

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so the chauffeur climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds to hop on Route 95 and starts accelerating to see what the limo could go. Well, he gets to about 90 miles per hour and,WHAM! There are the blue lights of our friendly State Police in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. Well, the trooper, seeing who it was, says "just a moment please I need to call in."

The trooper radio's in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief "I've got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do."

The chief replies "Who is it, not Ted again ?"

The trooper says, "No, even more important."

The chief replies, "It's the Governor, isn't it ?"

The trooper replies "No, even more important."

"It isn't the President is it?"

"No, more important," replies the trooper.

"Well, WHO the HECK is it!", screams the chief.

"I don't know" says the trooper. "But he's got the Pope as a chauffeur!"

Back

Healing

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:42:00 +0000

An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV and the other hand on the part of your body that ails you, and I will heal you."

The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television and the other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and the other hand on his groin.

With a frown, his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."

Back

The Incorrect Diagnosis

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:41:00 +0000

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man," the priest said.

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does," the man said.

Back

Enter Heaven

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:40:00 +0000

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

Back

God Will Help Me

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:39:00 +0000

There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.

Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."

So, the man in the boat drove off.

The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in.

Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."

The person in the boat then left.

The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.

Jim said, "That's okay."

The woman said, "Are you sure?"

Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."

Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven and was face-to-face with God.

Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What happened?"

God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?"

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Four Nuns

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:37:00 +0000

It was Friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local Catholic church to ask for the weekend off. They argued back and forth for a few minutes. Finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent for the weekend.

"However", he said, "as soon as you get back Monday morning I want you to confess to me what you did over the weekend." The four nuns agree, and run off.

Monday comes, and the four nuns return. The first nun goes to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do, Sister?" She replies, "I watched an R-rated movie." The priest looks up at heaven for a few seconds, then replies, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water."

The first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chuckle quietly under her breath. The second nun then goes up to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest replies, "OK, what happened?" She says, "I was driving my brother's car down the street in front of his house, and I hit a neighbors dog and killed it."

The priest looks up to heaven for half a minute, then says, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water." The second nun goes out. By this time, the fourth nun is laughing quite audibly.

Then the third nun walks to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "Out with it. What did you do?" She says, "Last night, I ran naked up and down Main Street."

The priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before responding, "God forgives you. Go and drink the holy water." She leaves.

The fourth nun falls on the floor, laughing so hard tears run down her cheeks. The priest asks her, "OK. What did you do that was so darn funny?"

The fourth nun replies, "I peed in the holy water..."

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The New Priest

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:36:00 +0000

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

The next Sunday, he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon when he got nervous, he took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

Sip the vodka; don't gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
Jacob wagered his donkey; he did not "bet his ass."
We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior, and the spook.
David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit outta him.
When David was hit by a stone and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
We don't refer to the cross as the "Big T."
When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper, he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the cherry."
The recommended grace before a meal is not "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God."
There will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

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Dam Fish

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:36:00 +0000

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

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Just an E-mail Note

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:35:00 +0000

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Back

At the Confessional

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:34:00 +0000

It's Father O'Brien's night to hear confessions, and there are four nuns in the lineup. The first nun goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I should let you know right off that I touched a man with my finger!"

"Oh lass! 'Tis nothin', you could have been in a crowded elevator or some similar place," the priest says.

"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I touched him right on his private parts!" >

"You slut! You filthy tart!" screams the good father. "Say a hundred Hail Mary's and dip your finger in the holy water on the way out of the church!" Which she does.

The second nun enters the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I want to say that I held a man with my hand."

"Oh lass! 'Tis nothin', you might have stumbled and he lent you a hand," the priest says.

"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I held his private parts right in my hand!"

"Why you slut! You whore!" roars the good Father. "Say a thousand Hail Mary's and dip your hand in the holy water on the way out of the church!" Which she did.

At this point, the fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me sister, but would you mind terribly if I went ahead of you?"

"Now why would you be wantin' to do that, I wonder?" asks the third nun.

To which the fourth nun replies, "Well, it looks as if I'm going to have to gargle with the holy water, and I want to do so before you sit in it!"

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Prostitute Parrots

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:33:00 +0000

A lady approaches her priest and says, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquires.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible," the priest exclaims, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responds.

The next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

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The Preachers Donkey

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:32:00 +0000

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and having been told that there was a fortune to be made in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so steep that he ended up buying a donkey instead.

The preacher decided that he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day, the racing sheets carried the following headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.

The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and this time it won. The headlines blared: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT.

The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher to not enter the donkey in any more races. The newspaper printed this headline: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS.

This was just too much for the bishop, and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a neighboring village. The next day, the headlines announced: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. As soon as he was able, he informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey, and she finally found a farmer willing to buy it for $10. The paper announced the transaction as: NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS.

They buried the bishop the next day.

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A Room For the Night

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:31:00 +0000

Many years ago, a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod -- one that did not admit Jews.

The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full."

The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies."

The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."

Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said, "I'll have you know I converted to your religion."

The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?"

Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem."

"Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."

Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."

"That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?"

Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

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All in the Family

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:31:00 +0000

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.

"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.

"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."

"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.' They are married to God."

"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."

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A Torah Scholar

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:30:00 +0000

A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.

"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.

"A Torah scholar. Hmm." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she's accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancée.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, honey?"

The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."

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My Greatest Sin

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:29:00 +0000

Three nuns on a train had been getting to know one another and decided to tell each other what their greatest sins were. The first nun says, "My greatest sin is sex. Every year I go out for a week and work as a prostitute. Of course, I put all the money I earn into the poor box."

The second nun says, "My greatest sin is drinking. Every year I take the money from the poor box and go out drinking for a solid week." The third just sits there quietly.

So the first nun says to her, "Come on, we've told you our worst sins. Now you have to tell us yours."

The third nun says, "My greatest sin is that I gossip, and I can't wait to get off this train."

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Picture Of God

noreply@blogger.com (Cathy Hudson) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:29:00 +0000

A kindergarten teacher was observing her class of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."